This may be one of the toughest, most transparent posts I’ve written since starting the blog back in 2013.

It’s a hard truth, and I’ve had inklings of it for a while, but it’s becoming rather clear, and clarity’s a good thing right?

Hard Truths

In 2008, I was asked, for the first time, to come help with a project here for a couple of weeks, and in 2009, I came.

That first time turned into a second, and eventually a third, until in 2015, we uprooted and moved here, remaining involved in that project among others.

Until last fall… I hit a wall.

Call it a burnout, depression, adrenal fatigue… I’m not sure exactly, but I’ve been working my way through it since. It’s no fun balancing supposed-to-be-faith-filled and being human.

Sometimes though, it becomes apparent that programs are more important than people, and you realize that your value doesn’t quite extend beyond the program. It’s a heck of a lesson to learn, and while there have been times when I’ve stewed… tonight, I’m grateful for three things:

• Firstly, God gave me yesterday something I’d need today; the John Eldredge quote talking about God “…the presence of a loving and strong father deeply engaged in our lives, to whom we can turn at any time for the guidance, comfort and provision we need.”
• Secondly, I’m grateful to finally have clarity. It’s better to know where you stand than to have to keep guessing: It gives a more firm spot from whence to start rebuilding.
• Thirdly, I’m grateful for help from unexpected people & places.

Grateful for one more thing as well…

France is definitely not always easy, but if we’d never come, I might never have found out that something as beautiful as purple pollen (phacelia) exists.